LATEST CHATTY HEADER

"Gordon's Crowbar Blues"

It all started with a tram ride
In a government facility
With desert winds, and rocket engines
And M.I.T. credibility

There was Barney and there was Walter
And a suit all orange and black
Cause we all wish theoretical physics
Was cooler than lots of math

But oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Lodge that crowbar
In some headcrab's face!
If only I had stayed
Home from work today!

Suddenly there were lasers
And aliens running everywhere
With too many limbs blowing up into gibs
I need to change my underwear

And as if that weren't enough
The government sent lots of grunts
They set up turrets and shot their bullets
At everyone, including us!

Oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Now even marines
Wanna shoot my face!
If only I had stayed
Home from work today!

(Bridge)
And through all the death
All the destruction
You may be wondering
How I maintained my health
Learned to use guns
And crawl through vents obscurely?

I owe it to the hazard course
And the Gman's creepy ways
I think somehow now I'll make it out
Live to do science another day

(Back to Verses)
So I burned some blind tentacles
Launched the lambda satellite
I even fought babes in a room of crates
Before grunts punched out my lights

Long jump modules, gluon guns
Now I'm ready for the end
Just gotta play some stupid jumping games
Before I put this thing to bed

Oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Xen's hospitality
Is less than great!
If only I had stayed
Home from work today!

(Slow ballad-y chorus)
Then the Nihilanth
Said some creepy things!
While I set bombs
In his exposed brains!
I hope the Gman's
Job offer is not too lame!

(Regular chorus again)
Cause oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Has led me back
To the tram again!
Only now it is
Flying round in space!

And I wish I had stayed
Home from work today!
_______________________

May put this to some music myself if I don't win, but I'd love to hear Remo's rendition :).