Bean’s Texas Chili
(Has no beans, because beans in chili are like little cancer pellets full of Super AIDS)

for Morgin and Vantage

PHASE 1

– 2 TBsp olive oil

– 2 medium yellow onions (sweet), diced

– 5 cloves garlic, minced

PHASE 2

– 3 lbs meat, cut into 3/4″ to 1″ cubes or ground (Can be whatever. I usually mix beef tri tip or skirt steak, pork loin, and hot italian sausage)

PHASE 3

– 4 roma tomatoes, peeled and diced

– 1/2 cup tomato paste (one of those little cans)

– 1 tsp black pepper, freshly ground

– 2 TBsp chili powder

– 1 tsp cumin, ground

– 1/2 tsp kosher salt

PHASE 4

– 3/4 cup dark beer (Shiner Bock is “traditional” down here)

– 3/4 cup beef stock (broth is fine too)

– 2 TBsp apple cider vinegar

PHASE 5

– 1/4 cup fresh parsley, minced

– 1/4 cup fresh oregano, minced

– 1/2 tsp pequin pepper (or cayenne if you can’t find pequin)

– pinch freshly grated nutmeg

PHASE 6

– salt and pepper to taste

STEPS

(Use a wooden spoon to stir throughout this process for the authentic Texan experience)

1. Put PHASE 1 ingredients in a large (6-quart or larger) enameled cast iron dutch oven, or other large cooking vessel that can hold heat evenly for a decent length of time, and turn the heat to medium-low. Start cold and allow the oil to come to heat (you will start to hear sizzling), and then simmer for about 5 minutes until the onions become translucent and the garlic is fragrant.

2. Turn the heat up to medium-high and add PHASE 2 ingredients in small batches so that you brown all the meat effectively. Take your time, you are making flavor here (do not worry about cooking the meat through, that happens on the long simmer, just get brown). Get that meat nice and brown all over the outside. About 10 minutes, depending on how much surface area you have in your dutch oven.

3. Reduce the heat to medium and add PHASE 3 ingredients and stir it all up. You want to mix together all the spices, get them all over the meat, brown the tomato paste, release the essential oils, and all sorts of good stuff. Your kitchen should be smelling AWESOME at this point. About 5 minutes.

4. Add PHASE 4 ingredients, stir vigorously to distribute everything, and use your spoon to scrape any brown bits off the bottom of the dutch oven and dissolve them back into the mix for maximum flavor. Allow the mixture to come to a light boil. Once it gets up to temperature, drop the heat to medium-low and simmer for 45 minutes.

5. Add PHASE 5 ingredients, stir to distribute, and simmer for 15 minutes.

6. Adjust seasoning of the mixture at this point (PHASE 6), add more liquid (water is fine) if needed, etc… final tweaks to get it the way you want it. Then simmer for another 15 minutes.

7. Take off the heat and let rest for 10 minutes before serving. Finishing suggestions below.

FINISHING

– Serve:

A) with a dollop of sour cream and minced fresh chives, OR

B) with roughly shredded sharp cheddar or colby jack cheese and a bit of diced red onion, OR

C) ladled over a nice slice of corn bread (just use Jiffy corn bread mix in the 40-cent blue box, fuck you zakk, srsly)

* Note – I backed off the heat in this recipe to account for the fact that most of you probably aren’t used to true Texas Firehouse heat. The heat level of this recipe is moderately high, and is the way I make it when I have a mixed audience, especially one including yankees.

If you want to truly have this chili the way I make it for myself: use 3 TBsp chili powder in PHASE 3, and 1 tsp pequin pepper in PHASE 5 and once you add the liquids to the mix in PHASE 4, drop in a whole habanero pepper that you have perforated with a fork (remove the habanero before serving).