Disney Villains: Cursed Cafe review: A bland concoction

Nintendo had a few surprises for its last Switch-focused Direct. Among them was a new visual novel from Disney and the folks at Bloom Digital Media. With Bloom being the team behind games like Later Daters and LongStory, it offered some encouragement that this story of Disney baddies hanging out at a potion bar could be something worthwhile. While it isn't a total waste, I sadly can't say that Disney Villains: Cursed Cafe is particularly memorable either.

A squid lady, a queen, and a fashionista walk into a bar

The Disney Villains: Cursed Cafe story starts with the unnamed main character answering a want ad for an enchanted cafe. This is a magical hangout that comes to life every morning after reciting a spell contained inside a strange book. When the cafe comes alive, it fills up with classic Disney villains, albeit sporting more modern apparel. The idea is to serve them whatever potion drinks they order or whatever may assist them in their current situation.

The actual "potionista" (as the occupation is known) portion of the game is fairly simple. Players dig into their ingredient cabinet underneath the counter, browse through their book, and follow instructions to make specific concoctions. The object is to serve whatever drink has the effect that the customer wants, whether it's a potion for inspiration, to forget a specific memory, or what have you. The ingredient list expands as the game progresses, though there's nothing overly complex at work.

Becoming a better potion brewer also means speaking to different characters and learning about their current experiences, though there's only enough time in the day for a few conversations. That gives the game some incentive to go back for additional playthroughs, especially as the game features multiple endings. With that said, it doesn't take very much to understand what drives each character, as I'll get to in a moment. Ultimately, the objective is to get to the bottom of a central mystery that involves finding out what happened to the cafe's original proprietor, who seems to have disappeared.

Lending a cursed ear

Disney Villains: Cursed Cafe's gameplay element is secondary to the core of the game's actual experience, which is talking to some of Disney's most memorable baddies. To the game's credit, it doesn't simply rehash their origins or overly tread familiar ground. Instead, the stories are more about these characters exploring a more contemporary time period. For example, Maleficent wants to be an influencer, Jafar wants to take over the world by creating a cryptocurrency, and Captain Hook wants to explore the wonderful world of musical theater. They're not totally one-dimensional, though there still isn't a lot of depth to these characters. These dialogue exchanges are often entertaining and feed into the gameplay portion.

There may be times where players can screw up an order or say the wrong thing to nearly incur the wrath of the Evil Queen, but there's a do-over mechanic available. Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove can help out with a potion called the Do-Over Doppio, which allows players to repeat entire days. It's a fine idea on paper, but the downside is that it forces you to relive the entire day and not just a specific section. Fixing up your oopsie with the Evil Queen means you're forced to also redo sections with any other villains who you may have encountered that day. And let me tell you that Captain Hook loves to hear himself talk.

If there's another issue with the game it's that there isn't much more variety to the formula. Much like actual barista work, days behind the counter start to become formulaic and repetitive. You can only hear someone like Gaston or Cruella yammer on for so long before it starts to feel trite. It doesn't help that the overall presentation feels a little flat, as characters are only expressed in still frames with a few voiceover soundbites. Sure, the characters look fabulous with their modern-day outfits, but they don't show a lot of life outside of that.

Open for business

For what it is, Disney Villains: Cursed Cafe is fine. It's a simple visual novel that gives some extra flair to some tried-and-true Disney baddies. I certainly had a good chat with more than a few of them, but it wasn't something that could hold my attention for very long and was made worse if I felt like I made a mistake and had to blow another 5-10 minutes to redo the day. Some people are made for the daily grind of potionista work, but maybe I'm just not one of them.

This review is based on a Nintendo Switch code provided by the publisher. Disney Villains: Cursed Cafe is available now on PC, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, and Nintendo Switch for $14.99 USD. The game is rated E.

Ozzie Mejia

Senior Editor

Ozzie has been playing video games since picking up his first NES controller at age 5. He has been into games ever since, only briefly stepping away during his college years. But he was pulled back in after spending years in QA circles for both THQ and Activision, mostly spending time helping to push forward the Guitar Hero series at its peak. Ozzie has become a big fan of platformers, puzzle games, shooters, and RPGs, just to name a few genres, but he’s also a huge sucker for anything with a good, compelling narrative behind it. Because what are video games if you can't enjoy a good story with a fresh Cherry Coke?