Shack Chat: Which NHL team would you move to Cleveland?

In honor of NHL 25 releasing, and the fact the game’s Franchise Mode allows you to move NHL teams to other locations, we wanted to discuss which team each member of the Shacknews staff would choose to move to Cleveland. Why Cleveland, you ask? Well, what sense does it make that places with no snow or hint of an authentic winter have teams when Cleveland doesn’t? It makes no sense, so one of them has to go. Here’s what we each came up with.

Move? Why can't we expand again? - Ozzie Mejia, Senior Hockey Editor

Look, I'm not going to pretend to be the biggest hockey fan on the staff, especially considering that we have an actual Canadian here. I do know that hockey's in a better place than it was not too long ago, so if there's money going around, maybe consider an expansion. There's no worse feeling than a sports fanbase losing its team, so I'd like to avoid it if at all possible and instead just make a new team for Cleveland to start fresh with.

My short answer is the Utah Hockey Club. Basically, anything with the Phoenix Coyotes lineage is cursed.

Anaheim Ducks - TJ Denzer, Senior News Quack

It is my understanding that the Anaheim Ducks have been off-and-on good in the last decade (albeit the last time was apparently in 2017), and the fact that I still don’t hear anyone talking about them ever tells me one thing: The Mighty Ducks have lost their pizazz. Where’s Emilio Estevez? Where’s WB unearthing a 1996 animated series? Where’s Netflix hitting “20 years later” live-action series or reboots of any of this stuff?

Maybe a change of location is what’s needed to put some electricity back. Heck, I was looking into this popularity issue recently and learned that apparently Ducks fans are pretty loyal, but don’t even follow their team when they’re winning. I’ll say this because I’ve seen it personally for years: You know who follows their team for the most part even when they’re losing? Cleveland fans. Some true passion would probably go a long way.

Tampa Bay Lightning - Asif Khan, CEO/EIC/EIEIO, Lives in a hockey state

Florida has two NHL teams and Ohio has one named the BJs. Since Bill chose to move the Stanley Cup champions to Cleveland, I am going to have to pick the other Florida team. No state that doesn’t experience permafrost should have an NHL team. Since the Phoenix team already moved, I selected the Lightning. We will have to change the dumb name to something more fitting for Cleveland like the Steamers. Runners up for this dubious honor go to the Anaheim Ducks, the Las Vegas Golden Knights, and the Dallas Stars.

I have attended Cleveland Lumberjacks (IHL) games and I have supported the Cleveland Monsters (AHL), but it is time for Cleveland to have an NHL team. And no, the Columbus Blue Jackets don’t count. If Utah gets a team, Cleveland should too.

Florida Panthers - Bill Lavoy, New NHL Commissioner

Because I’m so thoughtful I’ve decided to rip the hearts out of the chests of one unlucky fanbase without disrupting the conferences or divisions. For this reason, I’m going to move a team from the Atlantic Division to Cleveland, which I believe would also end up in the Atlantic Division. Now, I’m not touching any Canadian teams or Original Six teams, so that leaves us with only Buffalo, Florida, and Tampa Bay. No easy choices there.

I’m going to let Buffalo stay because, as a Leafs fan, we can zip down there to watch games on the cheap. It’s like an extra home game or two every season for us. That leaves us the two teams from Florida, both with recent Cup wins. But, they are two teams in Florida with an unfair advantage due to tax laws so… whatever. Let’s move one.

I’m going to move the defending Stanley Cup champions, the Florida Panthers. I just feel that Tampa Bay has been an overall better franchise for longer. The Panthers are an amazing team now, but I don’t like them (they crushed my Leafs), so I think it’ll be funny to watch all the players who are happy in flip flops year round stock up on winter clothing for Cleveland. Have fun, nerds, the Panthers are no more in my bizarre NHL world.

Los Angeles Kings - Sam Chandler, Sea change

I reckon the Los Angeles Kings can do with a sea change. Too much time by the bay, with no snow and fake ice, is no good for the spirit of a hockey player. Get ‘em up in Cleveland, where it gets actually cold.

Whoever it is, send them to Baltimore - Donovan Erskine, Wants more pro teams in Maryland

Baltimore and Cleveland already have quite the history in the sports world. The Cleveland Browns famously moved to Baltimore in the mid-90s, rebranding as the Ravens. If Cleveland gets a team, how about we repeat history, channel the spirit of Art Modell, and have them relocate to Baltimore. It would be delicious. Besides, I can’t bring myself to root for the Capitals.

New York Rangers - Steve Tyminski, Get them out of here!

Take the New York Rangers and move them to Cleveland. Why, to get them the hell away from me and my New Jersey Devils. This might be the only time I didn’t think of the Rangers and want to throw up. This is going to go down as my shortest Shack Chat of all time.

Those are our choices. Have some fun with us, join the conversation, and let us know what team should represent Cleveland in a future NHL hockey game. While you're at it, keep an eye out for our NHL 25 review, which will be coming soon to Shacknews.

Ozzie Mejia

Senior Editor

Ozzie has been playing video games since picking up his first NES controller at age 5. He has been into games ever since, only briefly stepping away during his college years. But he was pulled back in after spending years in QA circles for both THQ and Activision, mostly spending time helping to push forward the Guitar Hero series at its peak. Ozzie has become a big fan of platformers, puzzle games, shooters, and RPGs, just to name a few genres, but he’s also a huge sucker for anything with a good, compelling narrative behind it. Because what are video games if you can't enjoy a good story with a fresh Cherry Coke?