I'm the worst cop in Sims 4 history

Everyone has their own reason for playing The Sims 4. With dozens of add-ons, including expansion packs, game packs, stuff packs, and kits, there’s something for everyone. For me, the hook has always been about taking all of those lovely moving parts and seeing what sort of shenanigans emerge when I start combining them. I’ve lived full-time out of a tent, built prisons in my basement and, way back in the day, used to drown my enemies in swimming pools without ladders. On my latest trip back into Electronic Arts’ life simulation game, I managed to become the worst cop that’s ever been hired to The Sims 4 police force.

I’ve always enjoyed the Get to Work expansion for The Sims 4. Balancing my needs with work always hits the spot and provides just enough difficulty without turning things into a grind. This run, I decided to go through the Detective track, starting out as a Cadet and working my way up through the ranks to Chief. Unfortunately, this career choice was in direct conflict with my lifestyle choice of being a kleptomaniac. Unless, of course, you’re my Sim and you just turn your moral compass completely off. In that case it works beautifully.

The loop of the Detective track is that you go to work, get a case, visit a crime scene, gather clues and interview witnesses, build your case, arrest your suspect, and get a confession. It’s fairly straightforward and there’s really no penalty for not doing a great job every day, although you need to do an adequate job to keep things moving or at least hold your current rank.

The trouble for me began when I had a Moodlet pop up called Need to Swipe. Moodlets are small tasks that your Sim will have the urge to complete in order to satisfy their lifestyle needs. Because I was a kleptomaniac, my Sim was getting the urge to steal an item while I was at a crime scene. It took all of two seconds for that light bulb to go off in my brain, and from that moment on I was full speed ahead in trying to be the worst cop in The Sims 4 history.

Stealing a lamp from the crime scene that day was just the beginning. I stole items from every crime scene I ever visited, and then started visiting homes in my detective uniform after work to steal more things. What started as lamps turned into paintings and statues and eventually progressed into giant televisions. Stealing lamps is apparently the gateway drug for kleptomaniacs in The Sims 4.

It didn’t stop there, though. I graduated to full blown breaking and entering, rummaging and snooping through other Sims’ residences when they weren’t home. Not only that, but in honor of the Wet Bandits, I was pranking everyone’s toilet while I was there. Yeah, I know they overflowed the sink, but I didn’t have that option, so I made do.

All this stealing before, during, and after work, in addition to the breaking and entering, was taking its toll on my free time. Soon I wasn’t sleeping or getting enough social time and fun outside of work. The list of at-work transgressions I racked up is not short. I slept on the benches to catch up on sleep, ate all my meals in the break room upstairs, and even increased my social, fun and hygiene in one go by having an epic woohoo session in the station’s shower with a colleague. I played games on the computer at the office, started fights with colleagues, and even let some of the prisoners out of their cells and never bothered to put them back.

As wacky as this run has been in The Sims 4, I’m not done with it. I’m a few career levels away from being the Chief, and I can’t think of a better way to protect my criminal ways than being the boss. I’ll answer to no one. And even though I don’t need to rid the station of the current chief, I’m too far gone at this point. I’m invested in being the worst of the worst. Maybe it’s time to invite the current chief over to my place for a pool party.

Bill Lavoy

Managing Editor

Bill, who is also known as Rumpo, is a lifelong gamer and Toronto Maple Leafs fan. He made his mark early in his career through guide writing and a deep understanding of editorial SEO. He enjoys putting in the work to create a great content, be it a wild feature or grinding out an in-depth collectible guide. Tweet him @RumpoPlays if you have a question or comment about one of his articles.