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Celebrate the holidays from your trough with GAME's Christmas Tinner

Slurp up this disgusting pig slop from GAME, the apparent source for all that's unholy this holiday season.

Brittany Vincent

December 3, 2019 10:30 AM

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Here's something totally disgusting. 

UK retailer GAME has introduced (brought back, apparently, as they've done it before) something despicable it's calling Christmas Tinner – Christmas dinner stuffed into a can. It's sold out now, but it apparently wasn't a joke. People have actually tried it before. 

"The ‘Christmas Tinner’ is back – a 3-course meal in a tin for those hardcore gamers that don’t want to leave their gaming chair on Christmas day. All you have to do is start from the top and work down from morning until dessert," GAME writes of its horrendous product.

"You can now get your teeth into GAME play all day without having to miss out on a mouthful of your favourite festive food, listen to Uncle Nigel’s bad jokes or get forced into doing the washing-up." 

Now, there's nothing wrong with the idea of convenience, or even positioning this product as one that folks on a budget could buy to experience a multi-course Christmas dinner. It may be painfully British too, but that's not an issue. It's the marketing to "hardcore gamers" too lazy to get up and eat that I can't abide that's just, well, embarrassing. Way to adhere to stereotypes and make the rest of us look bad. 

Here's what you get:

• Scrambled eggs and bacon
• Two mince pies
• Turkey and potatoes
• Gravy
• Bread Sauce
• Cranberry Sauce
• Brussels Sprouts with stuffing, or broccoli with stuffing
• Roast carrots and parsnips
• Christmas pudding

The contents aren't gross or anything, but it's all layered on top of each other in a can. The can part is probably what will produce the diarrhea. Anything I've eaten out of a can that you're meant to prepare with multiple ingredients (that isn't an ingredient itself) usually ends up as a terrible decision. I can only imagine the kinds of terrible decisions that will result from people scarfing this chow down. 

Here's a live look at GAME testing its product on the only customers who would willingly eat it. 

Every day we stray further from God's light. At least it's not Monster layered on Monster, I guess. 

Brittany Vincent

Senior Editor

Fueled by horror, rainbow-sugar-pixel-rushes, and video games, Brittany is a Senior Editor at Shacknews who thrives on surrealism and ultraviolence. Follow her on Twitter @MolotovCupcake and check out her portfolio for more. Like a fabulous shooter once said, get psyched!