Shacknews LoL

I had nothing to do with this.

It’s been hard for me to talk about this since it happened. But I feel like I should address it publicly. I was in Austin the other week hanging out with mwasher and some folks I know in the area. I want to be 100% clear, everything about this story is the gods honest truth and I am not making it up. We went to mwasher’s house and got pretty drunk after playing arcade games and eating at overpriced food trucks. Everyone left his house around 230am. Around 3am I drank a glass of water to prevent a hangover, and since I didn’t have a hotel I asked mwasher if it was ok to crash on his couch. Check this out: he smirked, looked at the floor, and said “yeah that’s cooooool maaaaan”

So I’m asleep. All of the lights were off in the living room. Around 4AM I’m woken by a sound coming from the hallway, and a light like from a lamp. The sound was mwashers bedroom door opening. Pretending to be asleep I opened one eye to I see mwasher, dimly lit, wearing a Waluigi costume, complete with a fake mustache. He was completely silent, grinning from ear to ear and standing there, staring at me. WTF?? TERRIFIED, I shut my eyes and turned over thinking he would go away. Shacknews, It was the CREEPIEST thing I have ever seen. But he didn’t go away. Mwasher walked up to the couch and leaned over me slowly. I could feel his breath on my neck and I was scared. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. He leaned into my right ear, chuckled, and said: “Once, I put my right Joycon in my mouth and my left Joycon in my ass and pretended I was the Nintendo Labo fishing rod”. and then he walked back to his room (I’m assuming) and turned the light off. Is this normal behavior? I couldn’t believe it

http://pbfcomics.com/comics/harlots-web/ NWS

Sometimes twins cause false negatives

Reminds me of the time I caught a small fish on a pier in florida as a kid. Mom helped me toss it back to the water, but a gull swooped in and started trying to eat it, but another grabbed the back half, and they had a tug of war, ripped the thing to shreds.

The only thing that made it back to the ocean were my tears.

That rich tapestry of a description left me without a need to see a video of it.

I felt the same way. The first couple of times I saw it I thought it was just the meandering, going no where story line that people seem to like. You know, that whole "eh nothing really happens, it's not that funny, it just makes you go heh every once in awhile." It just seemed that everyone involved wanted to be anywhere but there.

Then I realized I was watching a Flames game, and turned on Bob's burgers 'cause that shit is HILARIOUS.

sometimes when i am shacking on my computer i get bored so i pick up my phone to check shacknews

Having some girl problems, guys. Need your advice.

This girl I've been seeing for the better part of 6 months... well, she and I got into a huge, heated argument last night. It was long, loud, drawn out and I regret many of the things I said. Maybe you can tell me what I said or did wrong because I don't see what "line" I crossed. I need some clarity, and possibly some closure because I don't think she's ever going to talk to me again.

We were in a restaurant. It was chill. I ordered a specialty Pho dish, (beef flanks and tripe), and she ordered a shrimp rice noodle dish. Things were cool, we were chatting about the usual shit. Talking about stuff we'd buy for the apartment. Movies, the internet, all that. We'd even turned our cellphones off so we could have a special time with JUST US. I love her and she is one of the sweetest girls I've ever been lucky to meet.

......Everything was cool until she mentioned that I play videogames too much. AND! ; that I could pay more attention to her. What??? She also mentioned that maybe I could start picking up her daughter from preschool on days that she works. What the fuck? Am I a pediatric taxi driver now.

I reached over and grabbed her appetizer dish; a bowl of seasoned edamame, and threw the small bowl across the restaurant. It smashed into a million pieces, glass and vegetables alike spinning and flurrying like fireworks. Like a gentleman I removed my napkin and said, "AVASTt! And Pay close attention to me, now, you Harloth! Lest ye decry my words like the petty mongrel you are! You demanding Wench! With no pity for my plights, nor a shred of decency, for your unkempt appearance embarasses me continually in public. Were my wishes to be granted, I would have you locked in a dark basement! You sea creature! Foul smelling, Ocean Mackerel & stale scallop odors which emanate from the rancor between your thighs!" I stood up and kicked my chair over. If you think any of this was unreasonable I'd sure like to know why!

She sat there with a chunk of half-eaten Edamame between her teeth. Somewhere between shock and confusion. Obviously I hadn't gotten through to her. Seeking the quickest option, I mean, to really drive the point home, I pulled out my phone and texted her younger brother, and called him a faggot. I quickly regretted it. He is only 11 years old. Why does he have a cellphone anyway? Anyways, after she called me a nigger she got up and left, and I don't think she's going to talk to me anymore. What do y'all think I can do to fix this situation? Running out of ideas here. Unbelievable. I can't live without her.

Good news, Shack!

Only two people SM'ed me asking how big my boobs are, after that post yesterday.

I am proud of you!!