Shacknews LoL

Pretty girl with shit taste in movies.

Sorry had to get lunch. Here's the chat log:

me: Wanna get married?
I don't have a ring.
or a romantic situation
but you haven't left me with much time to do that
k: well u have time today
when i see u at home
lol
me: I love you and want you forever
k: ok
well ask me
tonight
me: No
k: lol
me: I'm asking you now
k: why?
me: you have to answer now
k: over comp?
me: because, thats how it is
yup
k: lol
ok yes
me: yay!
k: can i still have a ring later?
me: yes.

Carving your god emperor's name on wildlife to own the libs: manatee editon. W T F.

https://twitter.com/exavierpope/status/1348684626622107652?s=19

[deleted]

My house got shot up.

Police just left, had my house full of cops and a couple detectives as I was copying footage from my garage DVR. Some homeowner near me has been renting out his house for parties on weekends (wtf), and there w as a big shooting. Woke up to massive sounds of gunfire, lots of shouting and people running (kids slept through all of it).

Anyway, the detectives came back a few minutes ago to inform me that I have 12 bullet holes, all along the siding of my house now. Fuck. Does anyone know if homeowners insurance goes up when you file a claim, like auto insurance does?

Also, I'm thinking I should go to the owner of that party house, along with the other guy who got his house shot up as well, and demand he pays for the damage. Since he was the one to profit from bringing in these guys to the neighborhood, I figure it's fair game.

so i just had an awesome evening.

coming home from work, i stopped on the sidewalk (next to a fence that lines the grass/sidewalk of my building - it's a really wide sidewalk - like five people can walk abreast) to wait on hold for a doctor who needs to tell me something about a CT scan. as i was waiting, a man comes up and gets in my face and keeps saying "do you know what you are doing? do you see where you are?" i tried to ignore him but he wouldn't leave so i look up and said "excuse me sir, i'm on the phone" and he replied with "you are standing in the sidewalk and blocking everyone's way." i said, "excuse me, sir, i'm not going to talk to you anymore," and he said "and you know why? because you are a FUCKING MILLENNIAL AND FUCK YOU" and spat in my face.

he lives a couple floors above me, so i told the front desk (there were a bunch of staff around for some reason and were all horrified.) uh, is there anything i can do so this guy doesn't get weird again?

Lol i just realized it might be because I've put olive oil on him

Srsly though, in the past few winters he'd get really dandruff-y so I'd rub a little olive oil on him

No it's not. Specially if it's a quick thing.

You have a huge screen in your face and sound all over and you're going to complain about someone checking his smartwatch?

The fuck?

http://www.theverge.com/2014/3/25/5547456/facebook-buying-oculus-for-2-billion

oh goodness! 2 instagram posts, 2 tiktoks, and 3 tweets a day! wow, im surprised she survived that harsh load of work to tell about it. does she have a gofundme?