There's not question that kids today are raised in a world dominated by technology. They're always online, and so they develop incredible skills with today's most advanced devices just through extended exposure. That applies to video games as much as anything.
I began to notice that my PvP skills were not what they used to be while playing in the Crucible in Destiny 2. After spending a few years atop the Crucible leaderboards, I watched my name plumet down the scoreboard more and more. In my mind, this was just a natrual thing as I was taking on kids 15 to 20 years younger than myself. The thing is, this was mostly in my head.
Several things factored into my PvP decline. One, my interest in PvP dropped as I found myself more interested in a casual experience with friends. Most of my time in Destiny 2 shifted to PvE, as it did with other games. Secondly, I tried my hand at Trials of Osiris near the end of the original Destiny and got stomped. Stomped in a way that lets you know you can't be competitive. Third, when Destiny 2 launched on PC, I stuck with my trusty DualShock 4 controller. This is a big one.
In a nutshell, I played less PvP than I did before, and in two different ways beyond that put myself in a position to fail. Then when I failed, I just assumed I was old and couldn't hang with the younger players any more. Hogwash.
Just as a few things can steal your confidence, you can get it back. Two things happened this week that have me believing that this PvP decline, while real to a minor extent, is mostly in my head. First, I played Quake with my colleagues, a game I hadn't played in many years, and was able to hold my own with mouse and keyboard. I'm terrible with mouse and keyboard. The fact that I didn't embarass myself playing a game I hadn't played much, using an input method I wasn't comfortable with, had me feeling pretty good. Secondly, I won at PAC-MAN 99, then I did it again. Now I'm in the top five almost every match.
Sure, those are some fairly small sample sizes to declare a loss of confidence has been defeated, but does it matter? No, because if I feel like I can do it I can do it. I can at least improve enough that I can feel good about my PvP contributions. The key for me now is to not accept that I'm bad at it. Don't go gentle, as they say. Also, it's time to put the controller away when I'm playing PC games. I've dreaded this for years, but if I can suck it up for a couple of weeks I'll be in good shape.
See you at – probably just near, actually – the top of the leaderboards.
