Another day, another close encounter with an eight-legged freak. Welcome to Australia. I’ve recently come into contact with more spiders than I would otherwise be comfortable dealing with, and considering I always try to take a photo of them before they disappear, I figured why not share those images with you! So let’s go on this journey together as I describe and rate the various spiders I’ve seen, had crawl on me, or almost walked into.
Cat vs Spider: 7/10
This spider was a pretty good one. It was decently big and managed to stay well enough away. Plus, Rad decided he wanted to try and catch it. I think we all know how this ended.
Tree spiders: 9/10
These tree spiders are definitely up there in terms of rating. They’re high enough that I can’t actually get up to snap a decent picture, which means I’m not about to walk into their web. Furthermore, they don’t come inside the house, which I reckon is a fucking positive.
Plant spider: 8/10
This here is another outdoor spider, so still a decent user experience thanks to it not being inside the house. However, this one is much lower to the ground, meaning I could very easily stick my hand into its web if I’m being a bit of a dickhead and not watching what I’m doing. Unfortunately, my camera decided that the best thing to focus on was the web instead of the beautiful markings on the spider. Camera on my phone gets a 3/10 here.
Workout buddy: 7/10
In this photo you can see a spider but also my hand. This is a huntsman who I discovered chilling out in the corner while I was working out. I figured he could stick around as he wasn’t doing anything too nefarious and he wasn’t too scary looking. As you can see by the hand comparison, he’s just a baby.
Camping chair spider: 4/10
This guy looks way meaner than the other spiders here, he was also super quick, which is unsettling. Despite being in the garage and not technically the house, he gets a low rating because I’m pretty sure he’s hiding in my camping chair. I must remember he’s in there next time I use it.
Horror spider: 9/10
What’s better than a spider in your house? A spider that understand the nuances of what makes something a good horror experience. The photo on the left is all I could see without the flash while the photo on the right is with the flash. I appreciate him keeping just a few of his legs visible for that extra creepy factor. Well done. He loses a point for being in my fucking house though.
Clothesline spider: 10/10
This may be my highest rating in my spider collection. This little fella is so damn cute and tiny. However, because I don’t know what the hell he is and I live in Australia, I’m not about to touch it. As you can see by my fingers, he’s really smol. I reckon he might be able to jump a decent way. One downside is that he was on the clothesline where I need to hang my clothes to dry. Not enough of a bother for a point deduction though.
Shovel spider: 8/10
I came across this spider, which looks like some kind of orb weaver or something, while shovelling dirt. I couldn’t very well be mad at him for getting on my shovel as I was absolutely in his territory. He was a good sport though and managed to get back into the bush with minimal fuss. His long spindly legs and flat arse are a bit creepy though.
Scared roof spider: 9/10
Though not as horrifying as a huntsman, this guy still looks pretty gnarly. He was hanging around outside in his web near my roof. I touched his web to see what he’d do and he ran off scared and curled up to defend himself. Sorry mate, I didn’t mean to give you a startle.
Bathroom spider: 7/10
This bastard was inside my house in my toilet. I opened the door and saw him on the wall and almost didn’t need to use the toilet. After collecting myself, I got out my phone to take a photo but he quickly scampered off and out the open window. He gets points deducted for being inside but I can’t judge too harshly as he was small and he did fuck off.
Box spider: 3/10
I may have screamed a bit when this monstrosity ran out at me. I was in the garage, shifting boxes around, when he ran right down the box I was carrying as I put it on the ground. Now, I don’t know where he ran from. I assume I almost touched him when I grabbed the handle. Alternatively, he may have rubbed against my shirt as I lifted the weight of the box. Either way, he was too big and fast to be any fun.
It touched me: 1/10
Dear God, it touched me. It was on my arm. I could feel its gross little feet. It ran from the box I was carrying, onto my arm, and then jumped onto the ground. I could hear its feet going pat-pat-pat as it loped away. It then tried to hide by squishing its body out long and flat. It then moved, extremely quickly, into the gap between the shelves and disappeared behind. I need to move those shelves soon so I can’t wait for round two. 1/10. I would not recommend this experience to a friend.
And those are some of the spiders I’ve had the pleasure of encountering in and around my house. I hope you’ve had fun. Join me next time as we take a look at some of the other creatures I get to touch and see!
Featured image credit: Egor Kamelev
