"We have sounded the alert and released a quick fix for an exploit that some unscrupulous players were using to wield items on invalid classes," said the announcer.

"I have considered an appropriate punishment for the good-for-nothings responsible for this horrendous breach of conduct," she added. "Death, of course--but death is too good for disappointments such as these. Instead, their unlockable items have been removed for a month."

Of course, even those players that managed to escape the announcer's wrath were marked as future failures.

"To the majority of you who did not see fit to cheat, you have my congratulations: I await the countless other ways you will inevitably disappoint me in the future."