Think I'm crazy? You're the one livin' in a fuckin' dream, Silberman!

It all unraveled when I was laying in bed the other day, watching Terminator 2 on AMC between vomits. Let me explain: Terminator 2 is always on AMC. I don't mind, because Terminator 2 really is an American Movie Classic, but then AMC also shows shows about advertising companies, and Terminator 3.

Terminator 3 is not an American Movie Classic. By airing it, AMC becomes just another number on the dial, its identity as a station totally nullified by its own deceptive programming, much like The Learning Channel--which airs such informative programs as "What Not To Wear," a 60-minute primer on how to look good in a dress--and G4.

Anyway, I'm sitting there getting my Cameron on, watching the machines roll over their well-tended garden of skulls--and then it was suddenly so clear.

Listen: Ray Kurzweil invented the flatbed scanner and the first text-to-speech synthesizer. He predicted the advent of flash memory and the defeat of Gary Kasparov at the hands of Deep Blue. Then, just this week, he made news with a fresh prophecy: machines will "match man" by 2029.

All well and good. One could almost argue that machines match man already, if you're judging by the Civilization IV AI. But why 2029? Why not 2030? Why not 2028? What was special about that year?

Oh no. No, it couldn't be.

Yes, exactly. That 2029 AD.

Ray Kurzweil is a fucking Terminator. He was sent from 2029, with his full knowledge of advanced technologies, to slowly destroy us. Even now he alters our timeline, driving us toward his race's version of the future, where machines rule us with a steely fist.

Of course, as with any political issue, my first thought as a responsible gamer was thus: Is this good for us or bad for us? Hell, I'd vote for Kim Jong-il come November if he promised to stay away from Grand Theft Auto V. I have to kill my digital prostitutes, and I wager Kim would respect that kind of basic need.

But where does the T-101 come down on the Manhunt 2 issue?

That's when I decided to stop worrying about Kurzweil, and love the Terminator. He's speaking about the future of gaming at GDC tomorrow, so gaming must be secure in his machine-ruled reality. Maybe we can teach him some Spanish phrases, play some Wii, and everything will be alright.

After all, even though Terminator Kurzweil "predicts" we will all become one with machines, intangible artificial intelligences roaming the vast cyber universe with no distinct corporeal representation, as long as the PVP is fun, I'm all for it.

The unknown future rolls toward us. I face it, for the first time, with a sense of hope. Because if a machine, a Terminator, can learn the value of gaming, maybe we can too.