Well, since like, nothing's going on today, here's some wack stuff I've read today on cnn.com. Have at it.

Blind Man Charged With Memphis Bank RobberyWell, if there's one place this would work, it would be Tennessee... Hope I didn't offend anyone in Tennessee that's having this page read to them! Former teacher gets 30-year sentence for bilking studentsBest quote - "Cay Hickey, whose 15-year-old daughter and three nieces were on the June trip, said students "loved" the Spanish teacher because she let them drink alcohol." By the way, the teacher didn't get the kids drunk, she stole lots of their money. Man gets 10 days in jail for microwaving a parrotThis inspired this update.