Dragon Empires Q&A
RPG Vault's 28th Dragon Empires Q&A has been posted. Codemasters' Peter Tyson explains what areas of the game the development team has been working on recently.
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opengl128
reply31 Oct 2001 - Billy Madison: Deleted Scene
Prior to the final cut, this scene from "Billy Madison" was revised and shortened, due mostly for it's lack of relevance and foul language.
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KID
Mortal Kombat is the greatest game ever!
BILLY
Well, even though Mortal Kombat does have its
advantages, Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
KID
Are you kidding? C'mon, Billy! What does
Donkey Kong POSSIBLY have over the wonderful
and popular game for the Sega Genesis console,
Mortal Kombat?
BILLY
I am not joking, you stupid bastard. The game
Donkey Kong for the Atari 2600 is a wonderful
game, packed with hours upon hours of gaming
fun.
KID
Well, so is Mortal Kombat!
BILLY
Explain, fuckface.
KID
Mortal Kombat provides countless hours of
quality entertainment, asshole. The choice
to play as any of the different fighting
characters, against the computer, or another
player, is a tribute to the superiority of
the game.
BILLY
Nahh, I'm not buyin' it. I get bored with
Mortal Kombat; when you've learned the moves,
which only takes about a cuppla days to master
correctly, it gets boring and predictable.
There are a million different strategies and
techniques to master for defeating Donkey Kong,
shit-head, and that's what makes it better than
that piddly little Mortal Kombat.
KID
You are sooo wrong, Billy the Buffalo-Boinker.
I disagree wholeheartedly, and emphatically.
You are neglecting the obvious entertainment
quality of the complexities of the characters.
Mastering Shang Tsung alone is a feat worthy
of many hours of extended gameplay. And Goro--
BILLY
Aww, fuck that Goro shit.
KID
(clears throat)
As I was saying, Goro is a huge, fucking HUGE
badass motherfucker with four arms. I remind
you that Donkey Kong only has two.
BILLY
Yes, and I will remind YOU that you only need
touch one of Donkey Kong's hairs before you
die. Eat that, bitch.
KID
Not to mention the fact that while in Mortal
Kombat you can play with awesome 3-D looking
characters like Scorpion, Liu Kang and Sonya.
You prefer playing with that short, fat,
faggoty-ass Mario? Wop-lover.
BILLY
Hey, kid, don't make me take a hammer to your
ass like Mario would. Do any of those
characters have a hammer? Huh? Do they?
KID
Shang Tsung has fireballs.
BILLY
The fireballs in Donkey Kong could kick their
sorry Genesis asses anyday. Besides, you wanna
talk fag? Johnny Cage has got San Francisco
choreographer written all over him, thank you
very much.
KID
Well how about recognizing all the cool
hidden features, codes, and characters?
BILLY
All bullshit. They're good for about as long
as a jack-off takes you.
KID
The diverse soundtrack?
BILLY
Barely even noticeable.
KID
The beautifully illustrated/animated back-
grounds?
BILLY
Boring and unrealistic.
KID
What about the gore? C'mon, you gotta
realize the entertainment impact that the
insane amounts of blood, guts and entrails
had on the target audience of males ages
8-25.
BILLY
You get desensitized to that within the first
hour of gameplay, you adopted retard. Don't
deny it... Donkey Kong is better.
KID
Oh?
BILLY
That's right, you heard me. When you wager
the few things about Mortal Kombat that makes
it entertaining, and everything that Donkey Kong
is and forever will be that makes it one of
the best classic videogames of all fucking history,
you'll find that I'm right, and you're a
little ignorant shit.
KID
Donkey Kong sucks!
BILLY
Yeah, you know what? YOU suck!
