Published , by Asif Khan
Published , by Asif Khan
The United States of America finds itself in very interesting times. In a tell-all book about her relationship with President Donald Trump, adult star Stormy Daniels used some very colorful language to describe the president's private parts. She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”
“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels continued. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool." Daniels chose one of the most adorable characters in the history of video games to aid in her vivid description.
“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart..." Daniels' book Full Disclosure was obtained by The Guardian, who broke this disturbing story for fans of Mario Kart.
We can be sure that the president will have something to say about this on Twitter, but in the meantime America could probably use a long shower or a cup of Ovaltine. We can only hope to erase this image from our memories before playing one of the iconic, family-friendly Mario video games again.