Shacknews LoL

Doom Enternal soundtrack drama?

Mick Gordon releases a massive statement on of the development of the soundtrack and separate OST

https://medium.com/@mickgordon/my-full-statement-regarding-doom-eternal-5f98266b27ce

sounds like it was a shitshow from the start

A healthy and lasting relationship is based on mutual trust and respect.

https://mobile.twitter.com/depression2019/status/1532644636392423425

I am mostly writing this just to get it off of my chest. I developed such a bad attitude yesterday. I am moving into a new lease and I was supposed to get the keys yesterday. I get off of work and I'm basically skipping like a kindergartner to the parking lot. Spirits are high and I'm ready to breathe in the reality of a new cleaner living space. I'm driving down the highway to south dallas. Lady ahead of me slams on her brakes out of nowhere, going 60mph.

if I'd had my eyes not on the road for even a millisecond, like adjusting the volume on my radio or looking at my gps, I would probably be in the hospital right now and that lady would have died. because after she slams on brakes she all but goes sideways swerving into the next lane with me as i'm braking. i brake fully at 60-65mph and everything in my car, and I mean everything goes flying and hits either the dashboard or the windshield, or me. i had a water bottle in the passenger seat and it hit the dash so hard it exploded. i run over a carpet that had fallen out of a truck. i thought it was a person and I had a fight/flight response, a kaleidoscopic sense that i had just (helped?) kill somebody and my life would never be the same again.

i''m in the right lane. i cant pull over becuase theres no pull-over-lane (whats that called again?) i am dragging this carpet, which i think is a person, and put on my hazard lights, and i can feel this thing dragging against the road and kicking up debris against the bottom of the frame. and then i smell smoke. the friction of the carpet against road IGNITES the carpet and now the inside of my car smells like fireworks. the carpet is on FIRE. i'm not driving very fast, but the thing is already on FIRE, and I can't pull over. at least at this point i seriously resolved that its not a person and im not being rational, exit , and then pull over into a parking lot. i get out and sure enough there is a carpet hooked/lodged underneath my car and it is, again, ON FIRE. there is smoke coming from it. i pull on it with 200% of my strength and it doesn't budge. i dont have a car jack to lift my car. i text my new landlord that i'm going to be late to get my keys. i wave down people and, because i'm a black male, after 45 minutes someone finally stops and asks if i need help. 2 really nice people offer to let me use their jack. but it is the kind of jack where you have to torque the thing sideways and then lift it and go in a half-circle. i am not a physically strong person and i very out of shape, and felt like i was going to pass out in front of these people cranking this thing.

i have an anxiety disorder where i feel like im going to lose the ability to breathe and shit myself and then die and go to hell afterward. that started happening for me in front of these people as i was over-exerting myself. i felt like i was going to shit myself and then pass out and then go to be with my parents. i was so frustrated and high-strung that i almost wanted it to happen. thats what i mean by i got a bad attitude. then the lady told me to take a break and she started praying for me. i dont know why but that just made me feel 100% better almost. i think prayer works and God is real despite the colossal lack of evidence. anyway i finished jacking the car up and we got the rug out and it was still ON FIRE and we threw it by the side of the road (illegal littering) and then i drove back home.

https://owen-wilson-wow-api.herokuapp.com

wow!

To anyone feeling bad about life choices, I have a story to make you feel better. Some family friends of our had two kids. Decided they wanted a third and ended up with twins. Somehow, a year later, they get the wild idea that a fifth would be nice. Wham... triplets. I can't even imagine having seven kids. There are days where two seems insurmountable.

So I am phobic of flying and entirely sure every flight I will die. It sucks. But our two flights home were among the scariest I’ve ever had and we had to abort a landing once due to wind sheer. Anyway, the plane got struck by lightning and it looked and felt like a bomb going off directly out the window and I have never had to tell anyone that it wasn’t an engine it was just lightning and now we are waiting for medical personnel and I’m hoping the oxygen and scrambling was a fainting and not a heart attack.

Well there is nothing quite like getting woken up at 6:30am by a friend's text telling you they saw that your workplace is engulfed in flames and wanting to know if you're ok.

This is where I work. It looks like a fucking disaster. No idea when the fire will be out completely, but from the latest video update on WRAL it looks like at least half the building has collapsed.

https://www.wral.com/roof-walls-cave-in-during-fire-at-rocky-mount-qvc-distribution-center/20041375/

His ex just posted this in the big thread:

I have been sitting for hours debating whether or not to disclose this, and I feel like it's something I do need to get off of my chest.
Frankly, I'm tried of being quiet. I've mostly had to stay quiet for years about things happening behind the scenes. I've held things inside so long and so hard my chest physically hurt the same way it is now.

I considered not sharing this out of respect for Rich's parents and sister, but after thinking on the incredibly vitriolic wall of text Rich's Mother sent to me this morning, saying upon many other things, that his blood is on my hands, I need to share it to regain some sense of control over what's taken place in the past 48 hours.

Yesterday I recieved a divorce ruling that would help me and my daughter stay in our home in Canada and allow me to provide a good life for her as well as pay back numerous debts that had accrued during the past two years when I was receiving $350 a month in child support.

In the divorce ruling the judge found that Rich had willfully spent down the martial find, confirmed his treatment of me was Domestic Violence and put together a plan to pay for the attorney fees etc. He would still retain custody settled on previously in mediation. He was due to get our daughter for Christmas.

An hour later I was contacted by my attorney who informed me that Rich had shot himself earlier in the morning.

So. There it is.
His other ex and I got to tell our children that their father died without saying goodbye to them, or that he loved them, or to my knowledge, left a note for them.

If you've made it this far thank you for giving me space to let this go so I know longer have to hold onto it.

So I had a bit of a week..Tuesday got a call that our surrogate in Bakersfield hadn't felt the baby kick all day, so she went to the hospital and the OB couldn't get the baby to respond at all. He video'd with us to tell us he wanted to cut the baby out 3 months early. Believe it or not at 27.5 weeks in this situation with something going wrong it's safer out than in.

So very suddenly on Tuesday I became a dad to a 1lb 13oz (825gram) little boy. He's so so small, on a ventilator and in the Neonatal ICU and stable. Believe me taking a flight out here with no internet right after he was born was a very intense experience. Both of us were not sure what the messages would be when we landed. Beyond intense 24 hrs, was basically crying or on the verge of crying the whole day. But everything has been slow good progress over the last 4 days. They're telling us to prepare for a rollercoaster over the months he'll be here.

A lot calmer now as we power through, just fingers crossed the little guy does well. We named him and called the grandparents and you can imagine their shock to hear that news. The care here has been really outstanding, the maternity side of the hospital has zero effects of the covid overflow and is empty and sleepy and overstaffed. Now we are basically Bakersfield residents and I got an airbnb starting Monday and settling into hanging out in the ICU for a while. Just a really weird intense experience.

I started as an EMT more than 20 years ago. I got my paramedic 4 or 5 years in. It was a significant pay increase at the time. It was good for a while.

Fortunately enough I made it into the fire department, mostly because I was a paramedic. I sometimes ride the ambulance, maybe 2 or 3 shifts a month. That's enough for me.

I was lucky. If anyone asks me if EMS is a good career my response is hell no, unless you think you're part of the 1% that makes it into the fire department. Use it as a stepping stone, but it's not something you should stay in for too long. The pay is too low for EMTs for one, especially for what the job entails.

So let me tell you guys what being on the ambulance is like. It's exciting at first. You push drugs, you shock people, intubate them, etc and if it's a good day you help save someone's life. Fun stuff initially. Then once in a while you see or experience something that gets permanently seared into your brain. For me it's the worst calls that I can vividly remember, not the good ones.

So let's say you have a sudden infant cardiac arrest call. You go to the scene, everyone is screaming, you pick up the kid and take him in to the ambulance as quick as you can while you're doing CPR. When you get to the back of the ambulance hopefully you have some backup. You take care of the airway. You drill an intra-osseous into the kids leg. You give meds. The whole nine yards. Once you get going, often you're alone in the back of the ambulance for the 15 or so minutes it takes to get to the hospital. There is no one to turn to if you need help or support. No one to take advice from. The mom is probably in the front seat wailing. You get to the hospital, and the kid is still dead in the end. And following you out to the ambulance by is the agonized screaming of the mother.

So you clean your ambulance up and try not to think about anything because you're on the edge already.

So you clear up from the hospital, and you don't know what's coming in next for the next call. It could be something minor. But it could also be something just as traumatic. You just don't know. So for the rest of the shift every time the alarm for a call comes in your body goes through an extreme stress response because it might be another dead kid. That you have to deal with. Alone. Again.

People think that police give most of the death notifications to family. I don't think it is. It's the medics. When the medics stop efforts it's the medics that tell the family that their husband or wife or kid is dead. The police get called after the fact. So you're with the family during the initial shock of the notification. The cops get there after everybody is quiet. I envy them.

So it gets to the point where every shift you're battling that same feeling. From here you keep doing calls until it breaks you or maybe if you're lucky you have a psychologist that can help you.

One of my friends killed himself in the ambulance while on shift. His name comes up in the media once in a while when PTSD is reported. Every time I hear his name I remember how funny he was, how he was such an excellent paramedic. I think about how I saw him a few days before and he seemed totally normal to me. I wonder what pushed him over the edge.

I don't think people understand how hard the job is after a while.

That's my 2 cents. You're right. EMTs and paramedics don't make nearly enough for the BS they go through.