Shacknews LoL

http://home.comcast.net/~guidoanchovy/bmwwreck.gif

Using a showerhead? Jesus. Isn't a little awkward to get up in that position?

I mean, even if you can stand on your hands or something the shower would be pretty slippery.

Girls and sex - everything has to be so complicated.

Then it really would be an obstruction of justice.

Hahaha.. I always wondered what it would be like to have a cock and jerk myself off but now that I've read that I feel like I have a good idea.

Ahh, the ol' Alaskan pipline.

Obsessed? Nah. I'd be obsessed if I made my own dickbutt halloween costume. Oh wait…

http://chattypics.com/files/dickbutthalloween2014img8417_7t1siuezl8.jpg

More evidence that a bob is more effective than a weave in boxing.

This hobby search isn't panning out for you is it.

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True story. About ten years ago, I was at a Starbucks eating one of their dry overpriced sandwiches. I must have been a little to eager to put that thing out of its misery, because I took a huge bite and promptly began choking on it. At first I was like "play it cool, you don't want to make an ass out of yourself", and tried coughing it up with no luck. Eventually, realizing I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own, I stood up and threw out the international "help me, I'm fucking choking" sign. About half the store was staring at me, not one person moved. I distinctly remember thinking, "so this is how it's gonna be? I'm going to die in the middle of a crowded Starbucks."

After what felt like an eternity, I gave up on the other patrons, staggered outside, and gave myself abdominal thrusts on a bike rack. At this point 100% of the people were staring out the window at me, still no one offered any help. Luckily, I was able to dislodge the chunk of shitty "artisan" bread, regain my composure, and flip off the entire store as I walked to my car.

Sometimes in dire circumstances, someone has the courage to step forward and become a hero. Those people don't go to Starbucks.